The speech therapy appointment was at 3:15p.m...made for that time specifically so Aubrey would be hungry (she's supposed to eat at 3) and the therapist could see how she takes (or doesn't take) her bottle. Well, the car seat worked its magic and Aubrey was so sleepy that she didn't do much with the bottle at all. She tried after a while, but only really "sissy sucked," as I call it--not real working sucks, just pacifying. The therapist said she'd like to see her once a week for a while. She says she just doesn't have the suck/swallow/breathe pattern quite down yet, nor does she have the muscle endurance she needs to finish the entire bottle. On the rare occasion she does, all the things just happen to come together correctly and she's really hungry and takes care of the bottle. She also said her gag reflex is so bad that we need to work on overcoming that for her to be able to take the bottle easier. She gave us some exercises to do with Aubrey to help her gag reflex to become less sensitive. The formula we're mixing at home isn't as thick as it was in the hospital (even though we're doing it the same way--go figure), so we have to try making it thicker and see if that helps. It could take weeks or months for her to get where she'll take the entire bottle every time. There's even a chance that she might never take the bottle very well and just move on to spoon feeding after a certain amount of time.
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| so comfy on dad's lap |
The thought of being on the feeding tube for 6 months absolutely overwhelms me. It's extremely difficult to go anywhere when her feedings take so long and have to be done every three hours. I feel like I need to go back to work soon because I don't have paid maternity leave, and that equals no paycheck (plus I hate leaving my boss without help for too long). When Adam goes back to work, I have no idea how I'll be able to do everything myself. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
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| those eyelashes! |
The speech therapist kept telling me that it was nothing I was doing wrong that was causing Aubrey to not get the hang of the bottle. It may not be something I'm doing specifically with bottle feeding, but I feel like I'll always be responsible for any developmental difficulties that Aubrey has or will have because it all goes back to her being born way too early. Full-term babies usually get the hang of bottle or breast feeding within hours of birth. Aubrey is a month past her due date and isn't quite there. It's not her fault. Just another thing she has to overcome, another hurtle she has to jump, another thing that's a lot harder than it's supposed to be because I wasn't able to carry her any longer than 24 weeks. It breaks my heart all over again when she has to struggle with something.
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| boo-boo lip |
-Keli
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