Monday, April 29, 2013

5p.m.

Our feisty pants has decided that she will not eat when Adam feeds her.  He kept her Friday since he was off and awake and I went to work.  Each time he tried to feed her, she fiddled with the bottle for half an hour but wouldn't eat much of anything.  So, I had to leave work early to get home and try to get her to eat.  As soon as I started trying, she ate.  Adam tried again all weekend to feed her and she piddled around with it; when I fed her, she ate.  *sigh*  I can't be the only one in the world that can feed this baby.  That's not a good thing.  We can't figure out why she's being so picky because he used to be able to feed her and he's doing basically the same things I'm doing.  Such a weird little eater, that girl. 

first a wake-up yawn...

...then a wake-up smile.

We went to church yesterday and Aubrey got to meet her birthday buddy, Ray, for the first time.  Ray is our pastor's son's little boy (Jeremy and I lived through our teenage years together in the church youth group), and Jeremy and his wife Jessi showed up at the hospital almost exactly the same time we did on October 19th of last year.  They were supposed to be there though, as it was around Ray's due date.  We, obviously, weren't supposed to be anywhere near a delivery room yet.  Anyhoo, Aubrey was born at 3:57a.m. and Ray was born around 11p.m. on October 20th.  It was cute to see them together for the first time and to look at the differences in them and think that technically they're both 6 months old. 

Aubrey and Ray with their dads at church

 -Keli

Saturday, April 27, 2013

11a.m.

Sometimes I just look and look at Aubrey and I'm overwhelmed by how beautiful she is and how much I love her.  I'm beyond thankful that she is growing and thriving and that I get to hang out with her all the time.  When she wakes up from a nap, blinks her eyes, focuses on me and breaks into a huge grin it's like being given a sweet and perfect gift.  There's nothing better.

Adam is off work this weekend, so the three of us are being lazy at home together today.  So rare and so nice.

-Keli

holding that head up

9p.m.

We've been a right lazy bunch today.  We did have a little scare earlier though: I went outside to feed Murphy (my big lug of a dog) and Adam was sitting at the kitchen table with Aubrey in her swing beside him.  She had a little gag, so he got up to get something to wipe her face with and at that moment she blurted a big blurt and got choked.  He said she couldn't seem to get it back down and get her breath--he had to scoop her up and flip her over and smack her back to get her going again.  I came in right after he flipped her right side up again; she was crying and he had rather wild eyes but thankfully she was ok.  We got her cleaned up and she calmed down and was smiling again in minutes. 

such good napping on mama

-Keli

Thursday, April 25, 2013

6p.m.

I figured out why Aubrey blurts her food.  It's her one flaw; if she didn't do that, she would be a perfect baby and nobody's perfect.  I may be slightly biased in her favor, but I doubt it.  :)

Guess who rolled over for the first time during the night last night?  Adam came to tell me bye before he left for work at 4:45 this morning and asked me if I turned Aubrey onto her belly.  Um, no, since everybody and their brother says babies have to sleep on their backs.  So, since he didn't flip and I didn't flip her, she must have flipped herself.  She was still snoozing away on her tummy when I went to get her a little while later.  I still can't wait to actually see her do it.

The picture didn't flip right, so it looks like she's climbing the wall in her sleep, but she's really on her tummy in her crib.

-Keli

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

9p.m.

Little miss feisty has been little miss sleepy the past couple of days.  Her naps have been longer and more frequent, so I'm wondering if she's going through a growth spurt.  She hasn't been eating as much as normal, and though that seems contrary to a growth spurt happening several people have said that their babies didn't eat as much during growth spurts.  I guess every baby is different, and we know that Aubrey has had her own mind from the very beginning.

morning nap

afternoon nap (the second one)

We had to go see the NICU doctor for a follow up today.  She was thrilled at how well Aubrey is doing and was impressed with how much she has grown.  Don't have to go back until Aubrey is 6 months corrected age.

Aubrey is a good baby and rarely fussy, so when she does get fussy I have to capture the moment.  Exhibit A: the boo boo lip.  Exhibit B: the frowning cry.  She was smiling again not long after, don't worry.

-Keli

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

3p.m.

As Scarlet O'Hara would say, "tomorrow is another day!"  Well, I guess since it was yesterday that stunk so badly, that tomorrow is today...so, today is another day.  Makes perfect sense.  Anyhoo, the same stuff that happened yesterday is still happening today--I'm being blurted upon and changing her clothes and my clothes a lot, I'm still waking up 50 times a night to listen for her and getting up at 5a.m. to feed her, I'm still taking her to work and running up and down the stairs 20 times a day.  But you know what?  She's home.  We don't have to go to the hospital every day to see her.  She hasn't had apnea since the end of January.  She's growing.  She's smiling.  She's laughing.  She's doing everything a baby her "age" should be doing.  I know I'm going to stress about everything concerning her; that's just the way I am.  I just have to remind myself that these things that I'm killing myself over now won't matter in time.  As long as she's healthy and well-loved, things are ok.

-Keli

Monday, April 22, 2013

9p.m.

Today turned into one of those days.  One of those days filled with self-doubt.  One of those days where a dark cloud followed me around dropping little splashes of "you didn't do that right" and "you messed that up again" on my head.  One of those days when I question God's logic in giving Aubrey an idiot for a mother.  Good grief.  I guess it's not really as dramatic as I feel it is; she's fine and growing and such, but sometimes I feel like I just can't get anything right.  I mean, I haven't been able to keep her safe and sound from the very beginning, so what makes me think I can do it now, or for the rest of her life, for that matter?  Oy.  Nothing like a baby to turn a normally self confident person into someone who questions every move they make or idea they have.

-Keli

Sunday, April 21, 2013

9p.m.

I'm tired.  This being a "single" working mom stuff is tough.  Adam is off the next two days, but he has some training tomorrow morning and then training all day Tuesday, so Aubrey will go to work with me both days.  I feel bad dragging her around with me all the time, but I guess it's better than putting her in daycare.  I don't think either one of us could deal with that.

She's still blurting on me all the time.  We got to church this morning with her looking all cute, and as soon as I got her out of the carseat...*blurt.*  I thought, well, that wasn't that bad, I won't change her clothes.  A few minutes later...*blurt.*  Ok, two blurts on one shirt, time to change clothes.  So, there was an almost naked baby in church for a minute.  Another spectacular, almost-entire-bottle blurt resulted in another clothes change at about 4p.m.  A friend told me yesterday that her oldest son would do something similar; she said he would eat 8 ounces and she swore he spit up 9.  I feel that way too--it looks like an awful lot of stuff when it's coming out of that little mouth at warp speed.

Aubrey and daddy catching up on each other's days

All those smiles she does lately makes up for the blurting.

-Keli

Friday, April 19, 2013

7p.m.

Oh the spitting up that has occurred in the last 24 hours.  Good gravy.  It's my new perfume--eau de formula.  She blurted her entire bottle on me (and her and the couch and the floor) at 4a.m.  Then again at 8a.m.  Then part of it at 11:30.  And so on.  She is a blurt machine.  And the crying...oh, the crying.  What on earth is going on with her?  Finally tonight, grasping at straws, I changed bottles completely using one that we used in the NICU.  The hole in the nipple is a little smaller and it takes her longer to eat...no blurting while she ate.  Maybe this will continue to help...one can dream.

The visit to the pediatrician went well.  Aubrey is up to 11lb 3.5oz and is 23.5 inches long.  She got her 6 month vaccinations and her synagis shot, 4 in all, and boy did she cry.  It was pitiful.  The doctor said she looks great and is right where she should be for a baby at her adjusted age.  The best thing is that we don't have to go back to see her for a whole month (unless we need her for something in the meantime)!!  You'd think she'd be grumpy tonight after four shots (I would be), but she's sitting next to me kicking and smiling.

my two favorite narcoleptics. :)

poor little band-aided legs after getting shots.

-Keli

9:30p.m.

Thank the Lord they caught the second Boston bomber.  God bless all the law enforcement officers involved.  Job well done!

-Keli

Thursday, April 18, 2013

7p.m.

So today is our 4th wedding anniversary.  This time last year, we were on our way back from a 9 day trip to Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands.  This year, we left Aubrey for about an hour and a half to run out to eat.  Oh, how things change. ;) 

Aubrey has had issues with her bottle the last couple of days--she's still eating, but she's pitching a weird sort of fit during the feeding.  We don't know if it's making her tummy hurt or what, but she actually cries pretty hard and that's highly unusual for her.  She'll finish eating and then she'll be ok.  It's so strange.  I recorded it and might email it to the speech therapist and see what she thinks. 

Back to the pediatrician tomorrow!

-Keli

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

9a.m.

Today is Wednesday, right?  I think?  Ah, yes, that's what my computer says.  And it's April 17.  April 17 already???  Wow.  In two days, Aubrey will have been at home for two months.  Eventually we'll get to the point where she's been home longer than she was in the hospital.  It's so nice to have her home...maybe I've mentioned that in the past. ;)

We have a physical/occupational therapy appointment today at 11.  Adam took her two weeks ago and made the appointment for the same time in two weeks...he's off today, but he forgot that he had to work last night and would need to sleep this morning and wouldn't be able to take her.  So, I took the day off and Aubrey and I will run some errands and head for the hospital. 

We also have to go back to the pediatrician on Friday for Aubrey's 6 month check up and shots.  Technically she'll be 6 months old on the 20th and will need her 6 month vaccinations; she also gets her last synagis shot for the season (that insurance will pay for)--RSV is on the decrease by this time of year anyway. 

Hopefully I've figured out how to give Aubrey her prevacid in a way that it will actually help.  I had been putting it into her first bottle of the morning and she had been blurting it up on a regular basis.  The doctor said it was really supposed to be given on its own before she ate, but I didn't do that because I was worried it was too thin and she would choke on it.  Well, after her blurting it up so many times I decided to try giving it by itself (it's not doing any good if she throws it up with the bottle).  So, yesterday I gave her the medicine a teensy bit at a time and she kept it down; it was obvious, though, by the faces she was making that it tasted pretty awful.  She did still spit up some yesterday, but no entire bottle like before.  Maybe it will help now!

On a lighter note, Aubrey has discovered how to stick out her tongue.  See below:

-Keli

Monday, April 15, 2013

6p.m.

Watching footage of the bombing in Boston today, there's one thing I noticed: there were tons of people running away from the explosion, but who was running towards it?  The police.  This did not make it any easier for me to let Adam leave for work this afternoon, because I know he would be one running into the madness instead of out of it.  I wanted to keep him home and in a safe little bubble with Aubrey and me.

It seems selfish of me to post about my frustration with Aubrey blurting up her entire bottle on me twice today in light of today's events, so I'll just say that I hope tomorrow is better. 

Here are cute pictures of our sleepy-head baby to put a little smile on your face.

-Keli

Sunday, April 14, 2013

10a.m.

It's a good thing Aubrey smiles at me so sweetly at me all the time.  It almost makes up for her puking her bottle up on me at 4a.m. 

I started the washing machine a little while ago (a common occurrence here now).  A few minutes later I heard an awful rattling noise.  "Bullets again!" I thought.  Yes, that has happened before.  I opened the lid and found a soggy bag of microwave popcorn floating on the top.  That meant all the unpopped kernels were floating around in there too, hence the rattling noise.  *sigh*  I wanted to wake Adam up and ask how this might have happened, but it'll have to wait.  Aubrey and I are going to church.

Never a dull moment.

That is all.

-Keli

Saturday, April 13, 2013

 7p.m.

I just read about this "doctor" over the past couple of days--he's on trial for 7 counts of murder for killing babies and at least one mother.  He ran an abortion clinic in Pennsylvania; in that state, it's legal to abort a baby up to 24 weeks gestation, and he aborted babies up to 30 weeks gestation, obviously illegally.  In some cases, the babies didn't die from the abortion procedure and were born alive only to be killed by this man.  Read the entire article here and be appalled:   Trial of Dr. Gosnell.


I'm guessing y'all don't have to wonder how I feel about that.   This man killed babies that were at viable (able to live outside the womb) stages of gestation and babies that were born LIVE after he failed to abort them in the womb.  Some people don't believe that a baby at 24 weeks gestation is actually a baby.  If they would like evidence to contrary, I have some pretty significant firsthand knowledge.  Why would anyone think that a baby is a baby at 25 weeks, but isn't at 23 or 24?  Allowed to live at 25 weeks but not at 23?  Seeing our 24 week, 1lb 9oz baby for the first time was surreal, don't get me wrong, but there was no doubt that she was a perfectly formed human being, albeit tiny, but who already possessed a huge personality. 

Right after Aubrey was born.  You can't tell me that's not a baby.  That's MY baby.

On a completely different note, Adam and Aubrey and I got to go for a nice long walk (well, Aubrey rode in the stroller and slept) in the beautiful weather today.  It was nice to be out and about and together. 

-Keli

Friday, April 12, 2013

9p.m.

Once again we survived the last 2 nights with Adam at work.  Mama is tired because she has a hard time getting back to sleep at 4a.m. after Aubrey finishes her bottle.  By the time mama goes back to sleep, Aubrey is making a lot of noise (while she sleeps) and then it's time for daddy to get home.  Oh well.  Mama will survive.  Having that sweet baby at home is worth it. 

We had another weight check with the pediatrician today, and Aubrey tipped the scales at 10lb 13oz--up from 10lb 9.5oz last Friday.  At first the doctor seemed concerned--she said that she only gained 8 grams per day (she likes to see around 15 grams/day).  I had done the math and thought she was closer to 15.  She checked her math again and figured that she was wrong and had gained almost 14 grams/day, so she was happy with that. We were scheduled to go back next Friday anyway to get Aubrey's last Synagis shot for the season (immune booster to help prevent RSV), but the doctor realized that she'll be a day short of 6 months old next Friday...so, we get to have her 6 month check up and next set of vaccinations too.  Should be fun...not.  Shots are icky and make sweet baby cry. :( 

Another awkward sleeping position.  Notice the cute little belly sticking out.

And then she's awake and happy after her contortionist nap.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

8p.m.

This morning's bottle feeding was a disaster.  She spit up 3 times, 2 of them a pretty large amount.  So, I remade her bottle twice, she ate, and I have no idea how much she got.  She ate again at about noon, but she gave up on me after about 60ml (she's supposed to be getting 85ml).  She just quit and went to sleep.  She used to do that to us when we were trying to get her fed every 3 hours, and the speech therapist told us that it might be her defense mechanism; something is wrong with the feed--whether she's not hungry or it's too thin or whatever--and she just shuts off.  She had just napped so I didn't think it was merely because she was sleepy, so I tried to figure out what else was wrong.  The formula wasn't too thin--strike that off too.  I checked the nipple--aha.  We have to use Y-cut nipples with her because her formula is so thick.  The holes in the Y-cuts enlarge the longer they're used, and the hole in this one had gotten pretty big.  I think she was getting too much too quickly and it was tough for her.  Poor baby.  I should have checked it and replaced it sooner.  She goes through 122 days in the NICU and then gets stuck with a goober for a mama.  Good thing she's a tough cookie.

more of her many faces

one of her sweet NICU nurses made this for her to match her room!

sleeping on the job with me at work

-Keli

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

9p.m.

It's been super nice having Adam home last night and tonight.  I got a full 8 hours of sleep last night; since Adam was supposed to be staying awake anyway, he said he'd feed Aubrey at 3a.m.  It was a nice gesture, but it didn't really work out as planned.  Since Aubrey didn't go through our normal bedtime routine, she decided to stay up and party with dad and not go to sleep until midnight.  So when Adam tried to wake her up at 3 to eat, she had other ideas.  An Aubrey that does not want to be awakened will not be awoken...awoke...awakened...woken up?  Anyway, you get my point.  Aubrey no wakey.  So, she ate a little bit about 6a.m., then Adam went to bed and Aubrey and I went to work.

She likes her swing now and kicks her legs to make herself go. 

She was a super spit-up machine this morning.  She blurted a little while she was eating at 8a.m, then was almost done with the bottle and managed to blurt almost the entire thing back up.  So, I made a refill and she got that down.  Then at 11:45, she spit about half of the bottle up again. *sigh*  She's done well the rest of the day (so far), so we'll see. I went and picked up her new prescription of Prevacid and the doctor upped her dose, so I really hope that helps with the spitting too. 

How on earth can that be comfortable?

Only one doctor's appointment this week--so unusual!  Another weight check at the pediatrician's office on Friday.  Hopefully after this week we can space them out a little more.  Whew. 

 -Keli

Sunday, April 7, 2013

8 p.m.

So far this afternoon, since Adam left for work, Aubrey has had a manicure, pedicure, and a nice relaxing tub bath.  This is all more than I can say for myself for quite some time now.  I've found that I'm having quite the day if I can get showered and properly dressed.

Aubrey and I stayed home most of the day yesterday, being quiet since Adam was sleeping.  She helped me take goodies to Adam's shift last night, and they oohed and ahhed over her. 

She must have her after-bottle nap.  The location doesn't really matter.

Today she went to work with me for a few hours.  We have a nice little set up going on--there's a spare bedroom upstairs that she can stay in, and I have a monitor with me downstairs so I can hear her.  My mom has stayed with her the past couple of days, but we'll be giving it a whirl on our own this week.  Once we get a couple of birds cleared out downstairs in about 2 weeks, we'll have a room with no birds in it and I'll be able to set her up with me there.  Until then, I can run up and down the stairs as much as I need to--good exercise.

On her tummy, trying to lift that gigantic noggin up.

In trying to stretch Aubrey's stomach a little like the pediatrician said to do, we've had a couple of spectacular spit-ups.  Maybe only one per day, which isn't so bad, but boy can the formula just flow out of her like a river.  I'm pretty sure she blurted her entire bottle out yesterday around lunchtime--it went all over her, all over the blanket under her, off the side of the couch and onto the floor.  Five minutes later, as I was still cleaning it all up, she started whining because she was hungry.  Well ok then.  Just a couple of hours ago, she squirted a pretty nice stream onto my arm.  The washing machine does not stay lonely in this house anymore.

I'm glad Adam's off the next couple of nights.  I miss him.  I got totally spoiled to having him around when we were both home so much.

-Keli

Friday, April 5, 2013

6p.m.

So here's a recap of yesterday: Adam was technically off from work but had training, so he left at 7a.m.  Aubrey and I stayed home and in our jammies all day since it was cold and rainy out.  She ate and took naps and I sorted through baby clothes that someone gave us.  Adam got home but had to go to sleep since he was supposed to be switching to nights.  So, while he was napping, Aubrey took another nap.  The only one who didn't nap was me.  Unfortunate.  Anyhoo, the three of us got to hang out together for a little while before Aubrey and I went to bed.

Today, Aubrey and I went to work while Adam slept.  Then we went to the pediatrician's...again.  To get weighed...again.  She's up to 10lb 9.5oz, so she gained 3 ounces.  The doctor said she likes to see a gain of at least 15 grams a day, and Aubrey gained 16 grams/day this week.  She said to try to get her to take a little more per feeding to stretch her stomach out some.  We'll just keep a bib on her because I'm sure there will be spit up. 

Adam left for work this afternoon about 4:45.  Have I mentioned that I hate when he's on night shift?  Ugh.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but even after as long as we've been together I still shed a few tears when he leaves for his first night.  And then I only see him for a little bit in the afternoons while he's getting ready to leave.  On the plus side, I'm hoping on the nights he's home he'll feed Aubrey at 3a.m. and let me sleep. ;)

-Keli

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

3:30p.m.

So I went to work this morning and left Adam and Aubrey together, and Adam had to take her to physical/occupational therapy.  He managed to get her and himself fed and in the car and to the hospital with 10 minutes to spare!  I'm so proud.  Both therapists are really impressed with how Aubrey is doing; they said she's just about exactly where an 8 week old baby should be with her motor skills.  The only problem they found was when she was trying to follow a picture they were moving across her field of vision either she would lose it for a second or her eyes would stutter.  She thinks it's because there are so many stimuli going on around Aubrey and she's not sure which one to focus on.  She held her tightly with her arms and legs all in close to her body and tried again and she followed the picture fine.  Another therapist brought a bunch of students around while they were working with Aubrey and was amazed that she was a former 24 weeker because of how well she was doing.

Don't MAKE me get up out of this carseat, fool! :)

I think we're getting into some sort of routine for bedtime.  Baby has a bottle somewhere between 9:15 and 9:45p.m. (Adam is usually already asleep, but I'm not sure what will happen to our routine when he goes to night shift...).  Mama sits baby up onto her shoulder and baby manages a seriously large belch, disproportionate to her small size.  Mama keeps baby as upright as possible for at least 20 minutes, trying desperately to keep baby's spit-up switch firmly in the off position.  Mama must continue to pat baby's back or bottom this entire time, or baby sets about flailing her tiny arms and head-butting her mama in the clavicle with her large noggin.  Mama must set baby down in order to wash baby's bottle.  Baby does not approve and lets it be known by whining pitifully. 

Mama turns out lights, picks baby back up (to baby's great pleasure) and trudges up the stairs to baby's room.  Mama and baby sit down in the glider in order to try and make baby sleepy.  Glide, glide, glide, pat, pat, pat.  Baby's arms go limp and her breathing slows.  In hopes that baby is asleep, mama stops patting.  Bad idea, mama.  Arm flailing and head butting ensue.  Glide, glide, glide, pat, pat, pat.  Baby goes limp again.  Mama continues patting but rises from the glider.  Mama takes a peek at baby only to find very large eyes staring back up at her from behind very long eyelashes.  Mama continues patting and adds in a swaying motion.  Baby's eyes finally close.  Mama attempts to place baby in cradle while continuing said patting and swaying.  Mama is glad no one can see this because she assumes it would be very comical to someone who has no idea what it means to finally get your baby to go to sleep.  Mama gets baby hooked up to monitor and climbs wearily into bed.  Sometimes baby stays asleep, sometimes baby has ideas of her own.  Tired mama.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

4:30p.m.

We're still here and still alive!  Almost through the 2nd day of Adam going back to work.  Aubrey has been to work with me both mornings (thanks to my mom for keeping her there for a couple of hours--the pediatrician said to wait a little longer before taking her downstairs with me around the birds) and we have had appointments both afternoons.  We won't be going back to speech therapy for a couple of months--she said we've done all we can do with Aubrey right now.  She's made so much progress with bottle feeding that she just needs to continue to eat and grow and come back when she gets ready for spoon feeding.  She said she recommends Aubrey have another barium swallow test at the end of May just to see how she's doing and make sure she has matured enough to not aspirate with thinner liquids.  Hopefully she'll accept the contents of her bottle being thinner by then.  We need to buy rice cereal by the case.  On a good note though, Aubrey probably won't have any trouble with spoon feeding.

The plastic surgeon that checked out Aubrey's hemangiomas while she was in the NICU saw her today.  He was thrilled that the one on her nose hasn't grown any.  He said the medicine we put on it seems to be working--they put hemangioma cells in a petri dish and put that medicine in there with them and the medicine killed the cells.  Well ok then.  The one on her neck has grown a little, but we hadn't been putting the meds on that one until recently.  He said he wasn't concerned with that one as it's in a place where it won't block nostrils or something like that; he told me to continue to put the medicine on that if I wanted to and he wants to check her nose again in 4 months.  We were curious to know what caused them since no one has really been able to tell us; this doctor said no one really knows.  Preemies and girls are more prone to them (poor Aubrey), and their genetic make up is similar to placental tissue.

In an effort to get our little hungry hungry hippo to slow down while taking her bottle (she took the one about noon today a little too fast I think and ended up splurting most of it back out 20 minutes later--all that hard work down the tubes), I turned on a the stopwatch on my phone this afternoon and stopped her for 30 seconds after every 5 or 6 sucks.  We took about 14 minutes to finish the bottle instead of 6...maybe this will help her keep more of it in her belly where it belongs, because goodness knows I'm tired of changing her clothes (and mine).

We were playing and she fell asleep.  Apparently I'm sooo boring. :)

-Keli