9p.m.
Today turned into one of those days. One of those days filled with self-doubt. One of those days where a dark cloud followed me around dropping little splashes of "you didn't do that right" and "you messed that up again" on my head. One of those days when I question God's logic in giving Aubrey an idiot for a mother. Good grief. I guess it's not really as dramatic as I feel it is; she's fine and growing and such, but sometimes I feel like I just can't get anything right. I mean, I haven't been able to keep her safe and sound from the very beginning, so what makes me think I can do it now, or for the rest of her life, for that matter? Oy. Nothing like a baby to turn a normally self confident person into someone who questions every move they make or idea they have.
-Keli
Unlike you, I had *zero* self confidence heading into motherhood. (Maybe that was good, because I didn't miss it when it wasn't there?) Anyway, I can relate; I've questioned God's logic many, many times ("Why do I have three kids when I have yet to figure out how to take care of one??" is a question I ask rather frequently).
ReplyDeleteEvery mom feels this way now and again. It's normal. It sucks, but it's normal. But I can tell you're doing a great job, because I've seen those pictures of Aubrey smiling. That is the smile of a little girl who is loved and cared for, and is destined to have an amazing life, thanks in no small part to her awesome mommy and daddy.
Hang in there.