Not one single episode last night. But again, can't let Aubrey hear me say that...she'll have one just to prove she still can. ;-) But really, she had a good night...all except for pulling out her dang feeding tube again! Little stinker. She's at 2lb 12oz. I know she needs to gain some good weight to stay on the growth curve that the doctors want her on, so pray that she'll do what she did week before last and chunk up a little more.
People keep saying I look tired. Is it really that noticeable? Am I really that bad? I know I feel tired; I had just hoped I was hiding it a little better than that. Basically, and I hate to get too personal here (but if y'all have followed this blog from the beginning you've already seen me at my worst), my life revolves around using my breast pump. I have to find places to go to do it when I'm not home; I feel like I miss things because it takes half an hour every time to pump and then clean and dry pump parts, etc. I'm so happy I get to still give Aubrey the nourishment she needs and that is best for her even though I don't have her with me all the time, but it is exhausting to have to pump every three hours day and night to keep my supply up. And I know I'd be up every 3 hours if Aubrey was at home, but it's just not as gratifying to pump into bottles as it would be to get to hold my sweet baby and feed her that often. So really, I haven't had more than 2.5 hours of sleep at a time since October 17. This whole being woken up during the night thing wasn't supposed to start for me until February! On the plus side, I'm currently filling up 2 different deep freezers with gallon ziploc bags full of milk...maybe if Aubrey doesn't use it all I can sell it on the internet or something and pay our hospital bill. ;)
-Keli
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| Snoozing with wires clinched in her tiny fist |
9p.m.
She was such a good girl today. She breathed like she was supposed to pretty much all day, with only a few de-sats while I was there. We kangarooed for a long time, and thankfully she didn't get the hiccups today...I was starting to think it was my fault she got them! She didn't get her feeding tube out today, but she sure gets her fingers wrapped around all of her wires a lot...but she sure is cute while she's doing it. She'll be 32 weeks tomorrow, and one of the nurses made the comment that she didn't look big enough to be a 32 weeker--she needs to grow! I told her that week before last she gained about 8 ounces in 6 days, then sort of slowed down some. She said they go through spurts just like all kids, so hopefully she'll have another growth spurt here soon.
-Keli
Been there, done that. Not for a preemie, but my second child was born with a cleft palate, which meant that, despite our valiant efforts, he simply couldn't nurse. So my life revolved around the pump for the first ten months of his life (with an 18-month-old to entertain in the process). It was really hard, but it was totally worth it. My son didn't get sick for the first six months of his life, which, for a kid with a cleft, is practically unheard of. Knowing that I was doing the best I could for my child made the rigorous schedule and lack of flexibility worth it.
ReplyDeleteThat said, all anyone asks is that you do the best you can, which looks different for everyone. My goal was to make it the first year (to get him through his surgery); my milk ran out when he was 10 months old. I battled a hefty dose of Mommy Guilt with that one, but my wonderful husband reminded me that all I was asked to do was my best. That's all anyone asks of you, too; you're doing an awesome job, and you are already an excellent, excellent mommy. Don't forget that.
thank you! i really am glad to be able to give her breast milk when so many have trouble with it. the dr said preemies have an average of 4.5 infections during their NICU stays...Aubrey hasn't had a single one (thank you, Jesus!), so i hope it's because of her getting breast milk from the beginning. thank you for the encouragement!
ReplyDeletekeli