Aubrey is fine. She had a good night. No episodes, gained 5 grams. Aubrey's mama is miserable. My head is stuffed up, but the worst part is that I haven't been in sight of my baby in 36 hours. I'm sure they won't let me in today. I haven't held her in 2 days...does she miss me? Will she realize I haven't been there? Is she going to forget me? Will she look different when I finally see her? This sucks. Don't say "sucks," Aubrey.
-Keli
3:30p.m.
Banned from the NICU, day 2. :( I know it's best for her; I'd never forgive myself if she got sick because of me. Now the CDC has called the NICU to warn them that something that resembles a headcold for the first few days then turns into the flu is going around. Yay. Let's hope mine is just the cold part. I haven't had a cold or anything else in over 2 years...why now??? I miss my baby. Adam's there with her now and I'm crazy jealous.
-Keli
I went to the NICU and said hey to Aubrey. She is looking so baby like and so good. She has had several reflux episodes so her oxygen level dropped many times but while I was there she didn't do it one time. Her feedings have been increased but the tube is still in her intestine bypassing her stomach. No word from the eye doctor but the nurse said there would be a follow up in a few weeks, and based on her experience that was good news.
I asked the nurse about Keli's milk. The charge nurse said that due to Keli's sniffles, combined withe CDC warning, they don't want her milk for now. So we will be pumping and dumping and using frozen milk that has been stored. We have enough of it from pumping every three hours day and night and only using about 2 portions of the 8 collected daily. If milk was t so plentiful then it would be used but for now we will use the frozen.
Keli has gotten a little bit sicker. I mean more sick. A little bit. Her voice is deeper and she is coughing now. Probably means she won't be able to see tomorrow either. Argh. And I have a cough and had some junk in my throat. So maybe when I wake up I will be sick too.
In the meantime, our nurse said that someone needed to hold Aubrey. Claudia manned up and took the responsibility. She of course called Keli first about it and of course Keli didn't like the idea, but Keli said that her mothers voice sounds like hers so it would be ok. Just tell her that I love her, she said between tears.
So it's been rough here with the agony of not being able to see Aubrey. I took the night off to care for Keli. We went to the baby store and laughed and joked and then spent some cuddle time on the couch and it helped her emotionally. Keli is strong, but those dang tears want out. She had tears in the baby store when the clerk asked when the due date was. But I was there to collect them, then lay the crib mattress on the floor and laid on it to see which one would be more comfortable for Aubrey. My goal of laughter was attained. We picked up stuff we needed and headed home.
I am so grateful for my supervisors and my agency. They have been so understanding and helpful through this time.
Pictures!!
The nurse Molly understood Keli's pain and helped Aubrey with making a Christmas card to give to her mother. Molly inked Aubrey's feet and pressed them onto a Christmas card. It is adorable. I compared the Christmas card to the birthday card and and you can really see how much she is growing.
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