Monday, February 11, 2013

6a.m.

Aubrey had a very good night.  The nurse said she took her entire feeding from her bottle and did well!  She gagged a bit at first (she has a sensitive gag reflex--she gags herself on her pacifier sometimes) but didn't have any problems breathing or anything.  I hope this means they will let her take a bottle more than twice a day now so we can work up to bottle feeding every time.  I'm so proud of her.  She weighs 6lb 14oz--monster baby!

-Keli

1p.m.

She didn't do so great with her bottle feeding at noon.  She tried her very best to sleep through it.  She'd suck a little, with her eyes closed of course, and then stop.  I laid her down and changed her diaper to wake her up and it worked for a little while.  She did get some down, but not very much.  Her little body just kept going limp.  So, we let it go for that time and she'll try again later.  They upped her bottle feedings to three times a day, so that's good.  She might be able to go home still on the tube feeding; we'll just have to learn how to do it and keep trying with the bottle feeding at the same time.

-Keli

3p.m.

I hesitated to share this, but I'll go ahead: the doctor said that we could have Aubrey home with us by this weekend.  We will hopefully be able to room in with her at the hospital Wednesday night (we do everything with her but there are nurses close by), take the discharge class (infant CPR, etc) on Thursday and come home Friday.  We will have to learn how to do the tube feedings and continue with bottle feedings too. 

Adam is dancing around the house making up most of the words to a song about celebrating, and I'm mostly just sitting here in a terrified daze.  I'm happy, but really more scared than anything.  I know that sounds silly after waiting so long to have her home, but it's hard to explain.  I guess maybe all first time moms are a little scared to bring their baby home, and this is just multiplied for me after watching Aubrey go through all the complications she's had in her short life.  All the "what ifs" are threatening to knock my feet out from under me, and I'm not sure what to do except pray that God continues to keep her safe.  Safe from any episodes, safe from any reflux, safe from her inept mother screwing something up.  Surely if she survived being born at 24 weeks she can survive her mama doing everything and not the nurses, right?

-Keli