Monday, February 4, 2013

6:30a.m.

Yay for another sleeping-all-night-no-spitting-up-no-episodes baby! :)  She had a good night and only woke up when she had a wet diaper.

Have I mentioned lately how tired I am of having to leave my baby at the hospital?  I have?  Oh.  Well, sorry, but I am.  Tired of it, I mean.  I think it's even tougher now because she knows me and is awake and watches me leave with those gigantic eyes.  It tends to make my eyes leak.  I know she doesn't know enough to miss me when I'm not there yet, and I guess that's a blessing, but I sure miss her when she's there and I'm somewhere else.  It's a surefire way to make you feel like a crappy mother (don't say "crappy," Aubrey) when you have to leave your child for someone else to take care of the majority of the time.  You'd think after 106 days of having to leave her that it wouldn't sting quite as much, but the hurt hasn't lessened at all.  I'm tired of having to choose between seeing her and seeing Adam for any length of time on days he has to work...I haven't figured out yet how to put myself in two places at once.  That would be helpful information, if anyone has solved that problem and would like to share.  I'm ready for us all to be in the same house...heck, the same state, even.  I know she's come so far, and she's done amazingly well, but it seems like there's always one more thing she has to overcome...then a step backwards...then just one MORE thing...She's getting there, I know.  I think she can, I think she can, I think she can...

-Keli





7p.m.

Sweet girl had such a busy day!  I got there to see her about lunch time, and the tech came in with the machine to do an EEG (electroencephalogram--it traces the electrical activity in the brain).  The doctors at the previous hospital had one done over a month ago, but the new doctors wanted another one now that Aubrey is full-term and its results are more reliable.  Poor baby had to have all these leads attached with this crisco-like stuff all over her head, then he wrapped her head in gauze so that she wouldn't wiggle all the leads off.  She eventually went to sleep while the 40 minute test went on...until the nurse came in to put in her eye drops.  She was going to have an eye exam later, and the drops dilate her eyes and have to be put in 3 times 5 minutes apart.  Aubrey is not fond of the eye drops.  She finally went back to sleep as the test finished.  I cleaned her little head as well as I could with a wet washcloth and scooped her up and held her.  She sucked on her paci and fell back asleep.

Just a few of the leads connected...

At least she was able to sleep through some of it.

The eye doctor came to check her eyes and said he thinks she still has stage 2 retinopathy in both eyes and wants to check her again next week.  The physical therapist came to do some range-of-motion exercises with her and some infant massage--the nurse said Aubrey fell right to sleep while the lady was working with her because she was so worn out.  When I got back to see her this evening she was sound asleep.  I waited until she woke up to pick her up, and she stayed awake with me for a few minutes but then zonked out again and was still asleep when Adam got there and was still asleep when we left.

The nurse practitioner called while I was at home and said that their ENT doctor wanted to check Aubrey's throat and make sure it wasn't swollen inside and didn't have any hemangiomas like the one on her nose and neck.  I told her that they did that at University already...she said she'd get the notes from them and give them to the ENT and hopefully they won't have to put her through that again.  I'm so glad Aubrey won't remember all of these tests that she's had to go through multiple times.  It hurts me to see her so agitated when they do them.  

-Keli

She was much happier with mama holding her.

So tired today!