Is it really 4 weeks since this whole thing started? At this time 4 weeks ago, I thought I was either having round ligament pain, which can happen around 24 weeks, or braxton hicks. Dilated? Contractions? Labor? WHAT? NO. Yes, apparently.
Aubrey has come a long way in 4 weeks, but she still has so far to go. She is still so little, and struggling with getting her breathing right. She had one true episode last night but also had a few apnic episodes (but her heart rate didn't drop). She's still eating and has gone up to 1lb 13oz. We're meeting with the doctor this morning to hear his plan to help with her episodes.
-Keli
8p.m.
Well, we talked to the doctor this morning. I zoomed over from work and Adam woke up to come down (he's back on nights this weekend). He said they decided to do transpyloric feedings--this means that they moved the feeding tube down into the small intestine to bypass the stomach. They're hoping this will stop her reflux; the reflux was causing some of the breathing episodes by causing her gag reflex to engage. When that happens, even in adults, the heart stops for a second. Also, because she's so under-developed, she has a tough time controlling all the flaps of her esophagus and stomach and the reflux was confusing muscles and causing her to stop breathing for periods of time. She was better today; she still had some times when her oxygen saturation would drop, but she was able to bring it back up on her own. The doctor said she'll still have some episodes, just because she's a preemie, but this feeding technique should help decrease the amount of episodes as well as the intensity and length of them. Here's hoping!
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| Hello, fan club! |
So it's been a week since my last "NICU psychosis" episode. I'm pretty good about not crying in front of people, but at home it's a free for all. I sort of lost it last Friday...I think it was the combination of not seeing Adam for a few days and my Nana being sick in the hospital and everything with Aubrey. I basically dissolved into a heap of soggy Kleenex on the floor in the middle of Aubrey's room. Adam, who had been asleep on the couch, heard my sobbing and came upstairs to check on me. I couldn't tell him exactly what was wrong...besides, well, everything. I wanted her home with us, and I hated how she was struggling, and I was upset with myself for not being stronger for her and for Adam. I didn't want to put more stress on him by worrying him, but I couldn't keep it all in anymore. Pretty sure I did manage to worry him that night, but he's so good and so calm that he just held me and rubbed my back and let me cry. What would I do without him? <3
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