Wednesday, November 21, 2012

7a.m.

The nurse said Aubrey had a calm night.  They were able to turn the settings down on the ventilator, which is good.  She said she was looking at Aubrey while she was talking to me and there were tiny legs waving around in the air, so she's feeling better.  She lost a few grams, but hopefully that was due to all the stress of yesterday...

So, Aubrey took a little, but unavoidable and ultimately beneficial, step back yesterday.  That means more waiting.  I don't do well with waiting. So God thought He'd be funny...He does that sometimes.  I have an app on my phone that pops up every morning with a Bible verse and passage to read for the day.  This was my verse this morning:  "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14.  Yes, God, I get it.  I have to just hang out and wait on you to do your thing.  I'm not saying I'm going to be particularly good at it, but I'm going to try.  

Today's thankfulness paragraph is dedicated to the nurses and doctors at the University Hospital Special Care Nursery.  Simply put, they rock.  They are so dedicated to doing what's best for all the babies there.  They say it's their mission, and they are good at it.  The doctors try to explain everything that's has happened, is happening, and is going to happen in language we can understand.  And if we don't understand it, they don't mind if we ask 50 questions.  They have gone down this road thousands of times, and they know what to expect and how to help Aubrey and Adam and I.  The nurses are just as knowledgeable and professional, but they all want to take care of the parents as well.  They're handy with a kleenex when I'm having a crying spell, and they let us do as much as we can with Aubrey as far as changing her diaper, getting vital signs, and holding her.  If my child absolutely has to be in the hospital, she is definitely in the best place possible.

-Keli

10p.m.

Aubrey had a good morning, then a little worse afternoon.  She had a few more episodes and they had to turn the rate on the vent up just a touch to help her remember to breathe (the settings are still pretty low, though).  The nurse told me tonight that thing in her brain that was supposed to switch her to "breathe air now!" mode just hadn't kicked in yet like it would have if she had been born full-term.  She still looks calmer and more peaceful though.  They did an EEG (brain scan) on her this morning to make sure everything is good there, but we probably won't hear results until after the holiday (the doctor said he didn't foresee anything being wrong--he was just being thorough).

I'm exhausted.  More mentally and emotionally than physically (though I could sleep for a week now that you mention it...).  I think starting back on my exercise routine has helped physically. Now if I could just get my emotions in check and my brain to function correctly...

-Keli