Monday, November 12, 2012

7a.m.

The nurse said Aubrey had an ok night...she spit up a couple more times.  That 11ml feeding just might be too much.  We have to wait for the doctor to see her today to see if he'll leave it at that and let her stomach stretch or take it back down a notch.  One milliliter doesn't seem like much, but when you're that little, it makes a big difference.  Also, she had a couple of episodes, but the nurse said she thinks one was caused by the spit-up...her oxygen dropped and when they suctioned her mouth out it came back up.  She's still at 1lb 11oz.

So I got an email today from a pregnancy website I signed up for months ago.  It said, "you are 28 weeks pregnant!"  Yeah, yeah, remind me to unsubscribe from that email.  This is what the next paragraph said:

"At 28 weeks, your baby can recognize your voice! His eyes continue to develop this week, and his brain is developing millions of neurons. The hair on his head continues to grow. Muscle tone in his body steadily develops, and even though his lungs are now capable of breathing air, it would be difficult for him if he were born now." (underlining done by me)

Well guess what, dumb email, my baby was born at 24 weeks and she's been breathing air on her own since the day after she was born.  So there, ha.  Oh, and the email urged me to come up with a birth plan.  Moot point.

For those of you not on Facebook, a friend of mine wrote this on my wall the week Aubrey was born:

"No offense to other people's babies, but I'm pretty sure Aubrey is the most kick @$$ baby around!"

Yes, yes she is.

-Keli



8p.m.

It was a tough afternoon.  Tough for me, at least.  After and hour and a half of being at the hospital but not being able to see Aubrey (a new set of twins was brought into her room, so I couldn't go in), I finally got back there with her.  She continued to have more apnea and low heart rate episodes; sometimes she would pull herself out of it, but other times the nurse would have to jiggle her and get her started again.  She spit up a doozy of a time, getting it all down her front and on her blankets.  Her belly was a little swollen, so they are backing off the feedings for at least tonight.  They did a sepsis screen (checking her blood for infection) and it came back clear, but they started her on antibiotics anyway, just in case something is there but didn't show up yet (they'll do another screen in the morning).  The x-ray of her abdomen showed some air, and the doctor said that he would love to be able to get her off of the SiPAP machine as he was sure that was blowing some air down into her belly; he said that he just couldn't do that yet.

stretched back out after one of her episodes

Her episodes are giving ME episodes.  Every time she had one this afternoon and evening, my heart would break all over again.  Dr. Sharpe (I just LOVE him), stopped me this afternoon, looked me in the eye and said, "how are YOU doing?"  He's seen moms like me so many times that he already knew how I was doing--he could look at me and tell.  He said that this was about the time that what he calls "NICU psychosis" sets in: moms spend so much time at the hospital or thinking about being at the hospital when they aren't there, that they start to go a little bit crazy.  He suggested a night away somewhere, like Charleston, but there's no way I can be that far away.  I think Adam and I might start with going for a walk or to a movie...that's about as far away as either of us can handle.

Slip in a prayer for Adam too, if you don't mind.  He's been so strong and amazing through all of this, keeping me sane and upright, but he's stressed too.  Work stress on top of worrying about his two girls is starting to get to him.  I just love him so much and I hate to see him hurting.

-Keli